Crack in the Roof

 

Farthest corners have been held

for far too long now.

That roof is cracking

and there is so much snow.

Long held, water is dripping now

damping everything I know.

During sunlight of the summer

I barely feel the trouble

but now that I am cold,

the collapse seems inevitable.

But this is my home

and I shall go down with it, if need be.

Until then I’ll fix those cracks

which only the house owner can see.

In my mind I am not me

An unsettling unsure persona

Of self is conflicting today.

In my mind I am not me.

It is different what we both say.

Good thoughts are uttered badly

And skepticism is always high.

Simultaneous smiles are seen rarely

For one speaks truth and the other lies.

Lost is the bond now

Which is required to strike a balance.

Now it is all about how

I balance this imbalance.

 

आइना

आइना समेट रहा था, खुद को समेट लिया

 

 

एक टुटा आइना सच कह गया.
चेहरा नहीं पर दिल दिखा गया.
बिखरा जरूर पर
देखने वाला भी तो बिखरा ही था.
आइना जीता और बिखरा हार गया.

खुद को समेटना जो भूल गया था
वह अपने बिखरे आप को समेटने लगा.
किसे पता था…
पहली बार उसे कुछ अच्छा लगा.
दिल के दरार आईने पे आगये,
पर जैसे जैसे आइना समेटा
एक चेहरा सामने आया.
वह चेहरा उसने कही तो था देखा.

बहुत पहले. समेटा हुआ चेहरा.
अब उसे फिरसे वही चेहरा देखना है.
आईने के सामने खड़े होक खुद से कहना है,
की वह वापिस पहले जैसा हो गया है.
और किसी टूटे हुए आईने से कहना है,
वह गलत है, देखने वाला फिरसे पूरा हो गया है.

Can I?

 

Often in the evening strolls

a realisation sneaks up

which recalls something really tough.

Should I continue or give up?

The stigma of latter can be rough

but what if I am fed up?

Nothing will ever be enough.

Characterisation has made it hard to give up

even on something which makes me miserable.

So I started to bluff to myself…

The worst kind of gamble.

 

Please don’t berate me for leaving now.

I tried but couldn’t finish somehow.

Only a human, I am.

I wish I had a backspace key now.

Regardless of what they say,

What they say does matter.

Let me find a better way,

Allow me to choose the latter.

I shall come back better,

I shall come back brighter,

I will feel honest and lighter.

Giving up does not make me any less of a fighter.

 

 

If something makes you miserable, there is no shame in giving it up. Giving up to try something new is actually a sign of bravery.

-Nishant, The Poet and the Pen.

We need it

 

It was raining that night.

Sky didn’t have stars

but my eyes were bright

for they had been seeking something.

It was after a long battle,

not of swords but of emotions.

While the face didn’t show, Heart was rattled

and the ability to stand was under erosion.

But then it happened unexpectedly,

I got what I was searching for.

For a while time stopped happily,

It was a hug that I had longed for.

Could you just?

Did you know?

No, I know you did not.

Did it show?

Yes, but no one took a note.

What now?

Sorry, You already forgot.

How?

That’s what we were taught.

 

First learn to see, listen, empathize & care. Rest will follow.

-Nishant, The Poet and the Pen.

क्या तुमने वह बात सुनी

Mental Health, one of my blog’s primary focus, is no joke. To all those who are reading and to The Poet and the Pen family, I request you to please share your pain if you have any. Don’t keep it inside you. I am here.

 

 

क्या तुमने वह बात सुनी
अरे वही जो में इतने दिनों से कह रहा था ?
अगर सुनते तो शायद पूछना न पड़ता.

अच्छा यह बताओ, अब सुन रहे हो
या अब भी सुनाई नहीं दे रही ?
या शायद तुम्हे कोई फर्क ही नहीं पड़ता.

अब तो मुझे भी फर्क नहीं पड़ता,
न किसी और से न अपने आप से.
शायद में कुछ दिन और लड़ता,
अगर में यह जंग समझ सकता.

सब कुछ समझ आ जाये यह तो जरुरी नहीं,
ज़िन्दगी सबकी सवार जाये यह तो जरुरी नहीं,
घिरा हुआ होने से अकेलापन दूर हो जाये यह तो जरुरी नहीं,
मेरी बिना आवाज़ वाली बात तुम्हे सुनाई दे जाये, यह तो जरुरी नहीं.

खैर, आपसे मिलके बहुत अच्छा लगा,
आता रहूँगा आपके नज़रो में कभी कबार.
किसी और का तो पता नहीं पर मुझे मेरा दर्द सच्चा लगा,
इसीलिए पूछ रहा हु एक आखिरी बार…

क्या तुमने वह बात सुनी.

 

 

I know this feeling. I have been through this as well. Yes, I was once depressed.

I know that you want to share and that you think no one is there but trust me, I am. 

If you want to share anything with me through any way whatsoever, just reach out. 

-Nishant, The Poet and the Pen.

Sleepless in…

 

It has been a while now.

That loop which got broken

Refuses to get fixed.

I am devoid of sleep.

Even though my eyes want,

they refuse to stay shut.

Sleeplessness haunts,

Inability hurts.

I do not know if I am alright,

Just that I am tired deep inside.

I hope that tonight

it won’t hide. Sleep.

 

 

I cannot sleep.

-Nishant, The Poet and the Pen

Post its on my wall

 

Hits can be derailing

And it takes time to get back.

As we end up trailing

Our paths seem to go black.

It feels like we are failing,

And that we have been giving slack.

Everything becomes overwhelming

That we start wishing if we could go back.

But…

Life isn’t streamlined

But a curve of ups and downs.

That timeline which we predefined

Never covers all the towns.

We never trail,

Neither do we actually fail

But gain lessons which weren’t expected.

So be proud of yourself and stop feeling dejected.

Pressing issues#3

Title: Panic Attacks

Do not take a panic attack lightly, it happens to the best of us and it can be detrimental. Take all the time you need and ask a friend to help you through it. Yes, talk to someone like a friend or a therapist or a family member. Don’t worry, we love you and want you to be alright.

Trust me, I know.

 

 

My voice has gone mute,

My hands are shaking.

There are tears in my eyes,

Panic is undertaking.

I can barely stand,

I can barely breathe,

Can you please hold my hand?

My pain is very deep.

Sight is failing me,

Memories are ailing me,

My strength is leaving me,

Oh god! I am barely me.

I am crying but there is no sound,

As if I am being drowned,

I don’t need words or anything profound,

Just hug me tightly and let silence be around.